We read in Parshat Vayeshev (Bereshit 37, 3-4), the story of Yaakov Avinu, Yosef and his brothers :
וְיִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל אָהַ֤ב אֶת־יוֹסֵף֙ מִכׇּל־בָּנָ֔יו כִּֽי־בֶן־זְקֻנִ֥ים ה֖וּא ל֑וֹ וְעָ֥שָׂה ל֖וֹ כְּתֹ֥נֶת פַּסִּֽים׃
Now Israel loved Joseph best of all his sons—he was his “child of old age”; and he had made him an ornamented tunic.
וַיִּרְא֣וּ אֶחָ֗יו כִּֽי־אֹת֞וֹ אָהַ֤ב אֲבִיהֶם֙ מִכׇּל־אֶחָ֔יו וַֽיִּשְׂנְא֖וּ אֹת֑וֹ וְלֹ֥א יָכְל֖וּ דַּבְּר֥וֹ לְשָׁלֹֽם׃
And when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of his brothers, they hated him so that they could not speak a friendly word to him.
Why is it important to tell us that (during the course of many years!) Yaakov Avinu made him a special robe of fine wool. Is it not a very insignificant and minor event in the life of a family?
Perhaps; The fact that Yaakov had a special place in his heart for the son of Rachel, his dearest wife, who passed away young, would have been understood by the brothers. In fact- love is in many cases – ungovernable, and we know it.
It is the fact that the father allowed – by giving Yosef this special garment – the rest of the family to acknowledge and feel his special affection, was the trigger for the hatred they were starting to develop towards their brother Yosef.
The lesson for us is, that within our nuclear family, it is quite normal to have more affection for one or more members. And it might not cause special issues. However – starting to demonstrate the preference parents have to one particular child, may trigger jealousy and interfere with the harmony within the whole family.
Best regards, Shabbat Shalom and Happy Chanukka!
Rabbi Chaim Michael Biberfeld